‘Av’ A Larf At The Flat Caps
Comrades!
On the third composite of the fourteenth motion, congress declares its unilateral support for workers rights against the capitalist oppression of the management and director classes who we will fight unconditionally without recourse to logic or proper negotiation whatsoever, allegedly, as aforesaid, which will not be unreasonably witheld in any circumstances notwithstanding the wishes of the members themselfs.
Are you wiv me bruvvers?
Yes, it’s the annual stand-up comedy fest and flat cap style convention known as the Trades Union Congress. After fish, chips, mushy peas and a bottle of warm stout down at the workingman’s club the delegates will be off for a wild night in Manchester. There’ll be cribbage for the boys, bingo for the girls and chlamidya with an E for the youngsters.
If Doris has a snowball or two, Alf might get lucky tonight. If Tracey has more than a dozen vodka and redbulls, Wayne will be breaching his ASBO again. That’ll set them all up for more vigorous and important debates in the morning on the issues that really matter.
Later in the year we can look forward to a “national campaign of industrial action against spending cuts” and a bit of civil disobedience by bruiser Bob Crowe. This must be what TUC chief Brendan Barber meant when he talked of Britain as a “dark, brutish and more frightening place”.
Don’t miss a minute of it!
Written by Peter Reynolds
September 14, 2010 at 7:34 pm
Posted in Politics
Tagged with Bob Crowe, Brendan Barber, capitalist, comrades, congress, debate, industrial action, Manchester, oppression, spending cuts, stand-up comedy, Trades Union Congress, TUC Conference, workers rights, workingman's club
2 Responses
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Dangerously near class-warfare, P. But nonetheless, very amusing, in your usual style.
Just as well there’s no Labour leader yet, or he’d be complaining about scars on his back.
Diane would give them whatever they want, of course, if she were the Chosen One.) Could be a fun winter.
By the way TB’s words cut off at the end …”MUST WIN”. Labour doesn’t know what winning means any more.
keeptonyblairforpm
September 14, 2010 at 7:49 pm
I know, it’s strange isn’t it, both my grandfathers went down the pits at age 14. I can still remember my Dad’s father going off to the Llanwern steelworks with his sandwiches in an old gas mask holder. Now there’s an image of early 1960s South Wales for you.
But I’ve never felt as if I was anything to do with the “working class”. I’ve always been a snob!
You see my father was classic “boy from the valleys made good”. He won a scholarship to Oxford and ended up a top City solicitor at the height of the 80s boom.
Anyway,according to your test I am a liberal (phew, thank God I passed!).
Poor ol’ Tone. I think he’ll have to find another party to join. Maybe he should start his own?
Peter Reynolds
September 14, 2010 at 11:08 pm