Peter Reynolds

The life and times of Peter Reynolds

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Eggs and Chickens

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I love eggs, particularly lightly scrambled with loads of butter, or lightly boiled. In both cases with lots of salt, black pepper and fresh granary bread (and more butter). I buy into the River Cottage campaign completely on all the bases of animal welfare, taste and nutritional value.

As you will have gathered, I am also a glutton, so I habitually go for the “Very Large Organic Free Range”. Every time I crack one it runs all over the pan and frequently breaks the yolk.

My father, who has not yet achieved enlightenment on this issue buys the cheapest he can get, usually packs of 15 from Sainsbury.

Regrettably, (and please can someone explain?!!) every time I cook breakfast at my parents’, every egg that I crack holds together tight and firm and upright, looks fresh, tastes better…

I don’t want this to be the truth but it is. Not just once but over a period of months. Something is wrong here. There is someone being dishonest about some stage in the egg process.

Can anyone explain?

Written by Peter Reynolds

July 3, 2008 at 4:39 pm

The Africa Union and Mugabe

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He should certainly have been arrested on sight and I could probably have been persuaded that he was shot while trying to escape.  Nevertheless, The AU must condemn him in the strongest possible terms.  Every step they take back from immediate arrest is a betrayal of their people.  At least be clear in your judgement even if you have no courage for action.

Written by Peter Reynolds

June 30, 2008 at 8:03 pm

Mutant Seaweed

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An article in Friday’s Times tells of the difficulties facing sailors competing in the Beijing Olympics due to an invasion of mutant seaweed described as “thick as a carpet”.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/olympics/article4221527.ece

We are suffering from the same problem in Chichester Harbour and I can personally testify to the deep pile quality of this very unpleasant weed.  I consulted the authority on such matters, Sid, the Emsworth harbourmaster.  He tells me it is caused by nitrates seeping down into the harbour from farmland.  I have seen great swathes of it as far as 10 miles out and around the Isle of Wight.  The tide brings it up to the beach and deposits it in layers four to six inches thick.  It is difficult and slippery to walk over and is bleached almost bright white and crispy by the sun in the space of a day.  Then the tide brings another layer up and massive areas of the foreshore become clogged with it.

Written by Peter Reynolds

June 28, 2008 at 11:32 am

“This Morning” with Fern, Phil and Evan.

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Already handsome, overrun with female admirers and, dare I say, happy, now his career as a media celebrity is taking off.  Evan will appear on “This Morning” on Monday (30th June 2008) to promote his bionic hand, his Channel 5 documentary and his general magnificence!  All hail the conquering hero, my son!

Written by Peter Reynolds

June 27, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Robo Chick and Bionic Boy

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Just watched a rough cut of my heroic younger son’s TV debut where his “bionic” hand, replacing the one he lost in a road accident two years ago, is featured alongside an American woman’s “bionic” eye.   As usual, I had no success in holding back the tears.  Nothing can diminish my admiration for his courage and fortitude in the face of what would have devastated a lesser man.  So watch out for the broadcast on Channel 5 on 2nd July 2008 when all will be revealed and no doubt Evan will provoke an emotional outpouring and a flood of fan mail from pretty young girls throughout the country.

Written by Peter Reynolds

June 25, 2008 at 9:17 pm

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The World Waits For Mandela

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If Nelson Mandela cannot bring himself to condemn Mugabe this weekend at his birthday celebrations then he will have let us all down.

Although this is a heavy burden to place on any individual, Mandela has established himself as a moral authority and the moral authority in Africa.

We look to you as a hero and one of the few world leaders with inarguable integrity to bring down judgement on the head of this evil man.  State the truth and the world will follow your lead

Written by Peter Reynolds

June 24, 2008 at 10:26 pm

Posted in Politics

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Carlos Santana

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This was one of my most intense experiences of the last 10 years recorded on my mobile phone with dodgy, wobbly video but fantastic sound quality.  Carlos Santana encapsulates so much of what I feel,  desire and believe in…

Written by Peter Reynolds

June 23, 2008 at 7:51 pm

Posted in Music

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Walking The Dog 4

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Walking The Dog 4

 

Oh joy! Some real weather returns to crown the long bank holiday weekend and end the tedious republic of sunshine.  Capone has to be dragged from the house because although he will plunge into an icy sea in the depths of winter, a little gentle drizzle is enough to deter him from leaving his lap of luxury inside.

 

So the riot act is read.  The beast is told that there is no room for runts in this regiment and with hanging head and screwed up eyes we venture into the rain.  Our normal cut through to the foreshore, where we usually hop over a gently dribbling stream, is transformed into a four foot deep raging torrent so we have to turn and take the long way round.  The lead has to be reapplied twice before he finally takes the hint and then the full glory of Chichester harbour opens up in front of us.

 

The rain doesn’t just come down in sheets. It is like unravelling great bales of sailmaker’s cloth.  The wind takes it and flaunts it and slaps you in the face. Already my trousers are soaking to the knees but now Capone’s tail is up.  There’s a job to be done.  The fat, snotty-nosed kids and their even fatter mothers have gone from the beach.  The inflatable kayaks are back in the garage and high water beckons for the boards with their storm sails and the bold knights of the sea who will skim the waves and charge the surf.  This is the glory of battle with the elements.  Courage and determination and persistence and rain and wind, even if, alas, no sleet and snow.

 

Summer has some advantages for only in full leaf can the trees deposit an extra six or seven gallons with each gust.  The gulls soar. The rooks rise and fall and the odd saturated pigeon flutters from the branches.

 

There is not another soul to be seen until out of the woods comes a solitary figure in wellies and a barbour but still in his summer shorts.  Behind him plods his aging, morose labrador not yet encouraged to arms, still believing in the misinformation that it is calm and sun and quiet that leads to happiness.

 

Across the fields the barley shoots that have been reaching for the sun droop and sag under the weight of water but you can almost hear their roots sucking the moisture, preparing themselves with the energy to burst upwards once again when the skies clear.  Nature has its own intelligence, far cleverer than the sophistication of man, far smarter than our short term, pleasure seeking easy lives.  The true hedonism is in contrast and struggle.  Only in the darkest hour is the brightest light.  The arid desert is drenched in life-giving rain and inspiration comes when the gloom closes in tightest and grips hardest.


 

The beast understands nothing of this but he knows it all.  At last, puddles are no longer avoided but splashed through.  The spring returns to his step and the tail is held high and proud and wags uncontrollably as the sticks are found and thrown and retrieved.

 

Our route is not cut short by the weather.  In fact, it is extended and though we meet one bedraggled runner and chance upon just one more of the regular dog walkers, this is the best walk in a month.  Returning home for a vigorous towelling and a couple of quadruple espressos puts the seal on the bank holiday.  This is how Mondays were meant to be.

 

Peter Reynolds 26-05-08

Assassination – a legitimate political tool?

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If our actions in Afghanistan and Iraq are morally justified then now we should be mounting a special forces operation to assassinate Robert Mugabe

This man is evil to the core and is beyond any redemption or pardon.  The people of Zimbabwe are relying on the international community to liberate them and surely this is the most effective way to do so with the least collateral damage.

Written by Peter Reynolds

June 22, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Posted in Politics

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Walking The Dog 3

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Walking The Dog 3

 

The fields have been ploughed and scattered this week.   My memory tells me that the ploughing should take place in the depths of winter so that the frosts can break up the great clumps of soil but that’s not the way it’s done in Emsworth.

 

Instead the local farmer brings in contractors who arrive in huge leviathan beasts, each worth a brace of Aston Martins, that devour the stubble fields and transform them into finely graded seedbed.

 

Think of the effort of lifting one spade of compacted soil.  The plough carves down three spades deep and four spades wide with each of six blades.  The earth surrenders to its mighty force and is exposed rich red and raw.  Then a massive grader, its huge weight hauled at speed across the fields smashes the soil into powder.  Only then does the farmer drive out his John Deere, looking puny by comparison and sets it to seeding and raking.  In the space of three or four days the work is completed.

 

The new scenery brings out a burst of fresh exuberance from Capone.  He gallops across the fields, his energy enough to lift any mood.  His sheer joy at being perfectly expresses the purpose of a dog.  He and the intimate experience of a walk with my best friend is the most powerful of therapies requiring no theory or structure, just the doing of it.  Perhaps more like a meditation or prayer.

 

With age the individual senses diminish in power but I find that there is a greater discernment between them.  I hear birdsong now like I never used to.  The pleasure of the birds, the sea, the sky, the light and the breeze is all so much more intense and the unreserved, joyous companionship of my dog makes it all the more so.

 

The most extraordinary things happen every day to those of us that indulge in this most universal hobby of walking the dog.  Last week, and I kid you not, from behind an isolated cottage, flew a second world war US fighter plane at no more than 200 feet.   Breaking every civil aviation rule in the book, it sent Capone and me diving for the nearest slit trench convinced that we were its target.

 

Regularly the Chinooks fly over Chichester harbour, their massive thumping beat pulverising the air.  If you happen to be wading through a large area of eight foot tall bullrushes it is so easy to imagine the rattle of M16s and the threat of napalm descending from above.

 

 

 

 

But the real dangers that lurk here are of a more rural nature.  The most marmalade orange, malevolent cat saunters along the church wall, a half dead rat clamped in its teeth.  The nasty fat corgi, its belly dragging on the ground and while Capone ambles by it leaps up and bites him on the back of the neck!

 

Spring is accelerating towards summer now.  The grasses and nettles in the hedgerows are lush.  The trees are turning a deeper green and filling out their magnificent silhouettes but the earliest crop in Emsworth is the forest of masts that’s sprouting everywhere you look.

 

 

Peter Reynolds 14-05-08