Walking The Dog 5
Our climate seems to be playing many tricks on us these days. Or at least, so the media frenzy about global warming would have us believe. With my personal experience and memory stretching back only about 40 years it’s difficult to know whether what seems unusual in that context is merely just the ebb and flow of nature. This spring and summer certainly seems to have been missing our normal south-westerly winds. Instead they’ve been coming from the east and closer to due south.
It was the return of a more familiar wind direction that gave rise to another rather embarrassing confrontation with the local wildlife and another failure to capture the event with my camera.
As Capone and I pass by Warblington Church, I suppose it’s my many repeated commands to walk to heel in case of any traffic which means that it has become a habit and, try as I might, I cannot encourage him to “get on” and quarter the ground in front as his half-pointer breeding should favour. He just prefers to walk by my side.
As we swing round past the old vicarage and turn south again down the Pook Lane path to the sea, he changes and forges ahead, often unseen, even on the brightest day, in the dark and dappled tunnel of hedgerow. To both sides there are ditches, thick with nettles and to my right, the west, a field of pasture, foot high with grasses. About a third of a way down we pass two great cedar trees. If you look seaward from the Havant junction on the A27 you can’t miss them. They appear to be three but, in fact, one splits right near the base of its trunk.
Right there, with wind in my face, a russet shape with a great bushy tail wanders along the edge of the field, casual, calm and blissfully unaware, my scent blown behind me before any chance of reaching him.
He is less than six feet from me. His feet at my eye level. Even fumbling for my camera does not alarm him. The wind is strong enough to blow away the noise too. My clumsy camera work continues and he walks right past paying me no notice.
Now I have to turn back slightly and towards the ditch. At last my viewfinder is on but I can’t see him anymore. So I part the nettles with my leg and edge gently into the ditch – until I begin to slide.
Arms and face tingling with nettle stings, I have discovered that the ditch is six feet deep and as I try to scramble back up, who should be there looking down at me with bemusement? Capone, of course, complete bafflement on his face as to what these human beings get up to and why!
The other “environmental” issue that has been concerning me are the vast carpets of glutinous seaweed that have been smothering the beaches. Sid, the Emsworth harbourmaster and fount of all knowledge on such matters, tells me that it is caused by nitrates washed down into the sea from the farmland.
It is revolting stuff, perhaps six inches deep, slippery and treacherous to walk over. In bright sunlight it bleaches quickly and dries to a crispy underlay over which the next tide deposits another layer. I was lucky enough to enjoy a day’s sailing in a 45 foot yacht out of Northney Marina and saw great swathes of the stuff as far out as the Isle of Wight. Then suddenly, with no mention of our local problem, “mutant seaweed” choking the Olympic Games sailing venue in Beijing has become a stick with which to beat the Chinese.
I hold no brief for the Far East at all but surely this is just more media befuddlement, cheap sensationalism (even in The Times!). We love to paint them as the great polluters, as incompetent to manage this great sporting occasion. Look closer to home first, skip the all expenses paid trip to China and please, can someone give us some honesty, some straightforwardness and some real information?
Capone agrees too. “Now get on and throw that stick!”
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Eggs and Chickens
I love eggs, particularly lightly scrambled with loads of butter, or lightly boiled. In both cases with lots of salt, black pepper and fresh granary bread (and more butter). I buy into the River Cottage campaign completely on all the bases of animal welfare, taste and nutritional value.
As you will have gathered, I am also a glutton, so I habitually go for the “Very Large Organic Free Range”. Every time I crack one it runs all over the pan and frequently breaks the yolk.
My father, who has not yet achieved enlightenment on this issue buys the cheapest he can get, usually packs of 15 from Sainsbury.
Regrettably, (and please can someone explain?!!) every time I cook breakfast at my parents’, every egg that I crack holds together tight and firm and upright, looks fresh, tastes better…
I don’t want this to be the truth but it is. Not just once but over a period of months. Something is wrong here. There is someone being dishonest about some stage in the egg process.
Can anyone explain?
The Africa Union and Mugabe
He should certainly have been arrested on sight and I could probably have been persuaded that he was shot while trying to escape. Nevertheless, The AU must condemn him in the strongest possible terms. Every step they take back from immediate arrest is a betrayal of their people. At least be clear in your judgement even if you have no courage for action.
Mutant Seaweed
An article in Friday’s Times tells of the difficulties facing sailors competing in the Beijing Olympics due to an invasion of mutant seaweed described as “thick as a carpet”.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/olympics/article4221527.ece
We are suffering from the same problem in Chichester Harbour and I can personally testify to the deep pile quality of this very unpleasant weed. I consulted the authority on such matters, Sid, the Emsworth harbourmaster. He tells me it is caused by nitrates seeping down into the harbour from farmland. I have seen great swathes of it as far as 10 miles out and around the Isle of Wight. The tide brings it up to the beach and deposits it in layers four to six inches thick. It is difficult and slippery to walk over and is bleached almost bright white and crispy by the sun in the space of a day. Then the tide brings another layer up and massive areas of the foreshore become clogged with it.
“This Morning” with Fern, Phil and Evan.
Already handsome, overrun with female admirers and, dare I say, happy, now his career as a media celebrity is taking off. Evan will appear on “This Morning” on Monday (30th June 2008) to promote his bionic hand, his Channel 5 documentary and his general magnificence! All hail the conquering hero, my son!
Robo Chick and Bionic Boy
Just watched a rough cut of my heroic younger son’s TV debut where his “bionic” hand, replacing the one he lost in a road accident two years ago, is featured alongside an American woman’s “bionic” eye. As usual, I had no success in holding back the tears. Nothing can diminish my admiration for his courage and fortitude in the face of what would have devastated a lesser man. So watch out for the broadcast on Channel 5 on 2nd July 2008 when all will be revealed and no doubt Evan will provoke an emotional outpouring and a flood of fan mail from pretty young girls throughout the country.
The World Waits For Mandela
If Nelson Mandela cannot bring himself to condemn Mugabe this weekend at his birthday celebrations then he will have let us all down.
Although this is a heavy burden to place on any individual, Mandela has established himself as a moral authority and the moral authority in Africa.
We look to you as a hero and one of the few world leaders with inarguable integrity to bring down judgement on the head of this evil man. State the truth and the world will follow your lead
Carlos Santana
This was one of my most intense experiences of the last 10 years recorded on my mobile phone with dodgy, wobbly video but fantastic sound quality. Carlos Santana encapsulates so much of what I feel, desire and believe in…
Assassination – a legitimate political tool?
If our actions in Afghanistan and Iraq are morally justified then now we should be mounting a special forces operation to assassinate Robert Mugabe
This man is evil to the core and is beyond any redemption or pardon. The people of Zimbabwe are relying on the international community to liberate them and surely this is the most effective way to do so with the least collateral damage.
