Author Archive
Under Pressure
About four months ago I embarked on a course of medication for high blood pressure. For some time I’d been warned that I was marginal with a reading of 140/90 so I decided it was time to start looking after myself. I was a heavy smoker and drinker. My only redeeming factor was that I walk with my dogs every day for about an hour – and that’s vigorous walking, up and down steep hills.
I was started on a calcium antagonist and within a few days I had virtually lost the will to live. I had no energy at all. I’d lost all motivation. In the most degrading epsiode of all, one morning I found myself prostrate on the sofa watching “Homes Under the Hammer”. That’s when I knew it was serious.
I took myself straight off that poison and went back to see my GP. My blood pressure reading was now 168/100. He advised a change to a thiazide diuretic. Being the not so patient patient that I am, I insisted on a full explanation as far as my “O” level science was capable of understanding.
This time it was more subtle. My energy, motivation and enthusiasm was sapped gradually. As my positive life signs went down my thirst rocketed to absurd proportions. After a month or so I was regularly up six times a night with a raging thirst and a full bladder. When I cleaned out the space behind the passenger seat in my car I had two carrier bags full of empty drink bottles.
In the meantime, I gave up smoking. I give the pharmaceutical industry credit for this. A month of patches and a nicotine inhaler weaned me off the evil weed easily. About this I am both pleased and proud. I have at least one “cigarette moment” every day but I am not going back to it. Although I can recognise no physiological benefit at all (if anything I seem to get more breathless now), I am much richer and everything around me is cleaner as a result.
The next visit to my GP saw my pressure reduced to 150/95. Better but not good enough. He advised me to start taking an ACE inhibitor as well as the diuretic.
I researched ACE inhibitors and was horrified at the range of side effects and contraindications. Then, suddenly, coming fast up behind and undertaking me before I knew what was happening (forgive my blushes) I discovered I was impotent. One embarrassing date and then a dawning realisation that nothing was happening, even involuntarily. No more waking up with a big itch!
I’m not ready to give up my sex life just yet. The one and only criticism I have of my GP is that he never warned me of this side effect. I have also cut my drinking by a huge proportion. From a half bottle of whisky upwards a day I am now comfortable with a single glass of wine or a small beer. In the last few weeks my motivation has gone again. I can’t be bothered with long walks with the dogs anymore. Just half an hour out in the mornings and I’m exhausted. I’m not interested in anything. My occasional lunchtime nap has become a necessity. Sometimes, even before midday I feel so exhausted, I just can’t wait to go back to bed.
Four days ago I stopped the diuretic and yesterday I felt like I had got my life back. I have so much more energy. I’m enthusiastic as I can’t remember for months. I fair romped up the hill with the dogs this morning. My thirst is calming down and I was only up twice last night. My mojo isn’t back yet but I can feel a little twitch developing. Come Christmas time I advise you to lock up your daughters once again.
The punch line? My blood pressure is now 170/110. I may be heading for a massive stroke or heart attack any minute but at least I’ll die happy. Despite giving up smoking and decimating my alcohol consumption, my blood pressure is much worse than when I started. So what does that tell me?
I have no idea at all but at least now I have a smile on my face!
Royal Bank Of Scotland Directors
Please Close The Door On Your Way Out
RBS Directors Threaten To Resign
Gentlemen, we are happy to accept your resignations – effective immediately.
…and don’t come round for mince pies this year. If you do you’ll get a glass of wine over your head and your fat tush dumped in the snow!
School Of Saatchi
Quality television is difficult to find. Yes, though there are hundreds of channels available, most of it is rubbish. Of course, what constitutes “rubbish” is a moving target. It depends on mood, snobbery, fashion, tribe and all sorts of complicated human emotions. It’s always perplexed me why it’s so “cool” to work in telly but so “uncool” to watch it!
“School Of Saatchi” is another formulaic “reality” competition but it’s fantastic. (BBC2, Mondays 9.00pm) It’s hugely entertaining but also very educational. You can empathise with each of the contestants even though each one is a real weirdy. You can get excited about whether they’ll meet their deadline and what the public vote will be on their bizarre “art”.
It’s the “X Factor” where “X” equals modern art and the chance to exhibit at the Saatchi Gallery and get a studio free for three years. The characters are eccentric and divine darling, particulary the asian boy with the spiky hair and Eugenie, the gorgeous 19 year old minx who wore her waders from suspenders in the last episode when her sculpture had to be installed in a pond!
There are the experts of course with Tracey Emin playing Arlene from Strictly and Charles’ advisors playing Nick and Margaret from The Apprentice or Sarah and David from The Restaurant. The USP though is Charles himself or, rather, his absence. The famously “camera-shy” Charles, dare I suggest it, is bound to make an appearance in the final programme.
Of course, Saatchi & Saatchi is my alma mater so perhaps I’m biased but within its cliched formula this programme is a delight. In fact, perhaps it’s because it’s structure is such a cliche that it can explain things that are almost beyond explanation and give us mere mortals an insight into the minds of modern artists.
Man’s Best Friend
Dogs have lived alongside man for tens of thousands of years. Even before our species could be so defined our predecessors made a pact with each other. Mutual advantage was the bargain and so it has been ever since. The relationship is in our DNA. There is a primeval bond between us.
Capone & Carla
Dogs can be dangerous. Mostly this is a function of how they are treated but there is the wild card. I would never, ever leave any breed of dog alone with a child. Thankfully, considering how many badly treated dogs and irresponsible owners there are, tragedies are few and far between. Nothing can extinguish the agony of what happened in Liverpool yesterday but there is a solution.
Bring back the dog licence. Make it cost £100 per year. Give pensioners a rebate of £90. Every dog must be microchipped to correspond with its licence. Enforce it. Guaranteed, problem solved.
Instead we have idiotic politicians who play about with incompetent, ridiculous and irrelevant legislation like the Dangerous Dogs Act – while children are mauled to death in their own homes.
Chav City
Bootiful
I have no sympathy at all for those stupid enough to have got themselves caught up in this vulgar triumph of cash over taste. By definition that means that the banks are heavily involved, once again debasing and diluting the real wealth created in the real world.
Something about Dubai had a bad taste from day one. The sort of acrid, bad taste that you know there’s something deep, deep down that is bad.
In fact that’s the only thing to say about Dubai – bad taste.
UK Ministers Surrender Mckinnon To US Kidnap
It’s said that when Gordon Brown offered Alan Johnson the Home Office he rejected it as a poisoned chalice. He’s probably right. It seems to be destroying his reputation just as it has so many others.
Abandoned
Nevertheless, the shameful and deeply treacherous conduct of this disgraced government towards Gary McKinnon cannot be excused. There is no greater duty on any government than to protect its citizens, particularly those who are vulnerable. There can be no basis in any system of justice for allowing a foreign power to abduct an accused person away from the scene of their alleged crime. This is not extradition. It is illegal rendition, as extraordinary as any. It is kidnapping.
Alan Johnson, Gordon Brown and the rest are kowtowing to big bully USA. British justice is in tatters as they offer up another sacrifice to America. Believe me, they’d do the same to any of us: you, me, your grandmother, your starving babies and our injured soldiers if it suited them. If they wanted to take Gary Mckinnon to Guantanamo Bay I don’t believe our government would have the courage to stop them.
Spineless Cowards
I call for the entire cabinet to be indicted on charges of dereliction of duty. Will not even one of these excuses for men or women have the courage and decency to resign over this issue?
These people who call themselves our leaders are a disgrace to each and every one of us. They are cowardly and spineless charlatans who are dragging our great country through the mire of ignominy and shame. Gary Mckinnon is a victim of their cowardice. Nothing can excuse what they have already put him through, let alone what is to come.
What Is A Supreme Court For?
Justice?
Is it to overlook Parliament’s clear intent and to focus on the minutiae of poorly drafted legislation? Is it to preserve and strengthen the law or is it to be focused on justice? Is it to consider cases only on the basis of pleadings presented by barristers or should it look to the wider issue? Is it to bolster the use of disproportionate power with which big institutions bully their customers or should it be to enforce fairness? Is it for “distinguished” lawyers to live out their latter years in fine, new ermine robes in luxurious surroundings or is it to promote justice?
I don’t know. Do you?
The Evil Of Organised Religion
If we lived in a world without religion there wouldn’t be any conflict in Iraq or Afghanistan. The Twin Towers would still be standing. We wouldn’t be hearing the dreadful news about child sexual abuse in Ireland. The Christian Church and Islam are both condemned for thousands of years of violence and evil. They are both as bad as each other. If I had my way they would both be disgraced and proscribed by appropriate public ceremony.
“Too many have died in the name of Christ for anyone to heed the call”
Teach Your Children
These are the immortal words of Crosby Stills & Nash. Substitute “Christ” with any deity you care to mention.
I accept that in all organised religions there are people who do good. However, an accounting of the last two thousand years: the Crusades, the Inquisition, Palestine, the vile behaviour of priests and nuns, so many wars – shows that religion is seriously in the red and, quite seriously, perhaps it should be illegal.
Worship who or what you want as you want. The minute that two or more of you get together to promote ideas that lead to death and suffering – well then you’re in a conspiracy.
Shame on the Irish Catholic Church for what it has done to Ireland. No consequences could be too great or severe for this godless institution.
I pray to the God I believe in for justice and healing.
Banker Robbers Supreme At The Court Of Contempt
In an outrageous and disgraceful judgment the supreme court (no more capital “S” or “C” from me) has protected our corrupt banking institutions from the Office Of Fair Trading. See the full story here.
Stupid Old Fools
The supreme court had the opportunity in one of its first judgments to set itself on the side of the people and justice. Instead it has shown itself to be on the side of the establishment, the banker robbers and the executive. If only this would herald the arrival of the tumbrils and guillotine into the streets of London. Then the bankers and the judges would understand the meaning of injustice as their headless bodies lie in the street and others twitch and dangle from the gallows.
The OFT has been shown to be as toothless and useless as the Data Protection Act and the Information Commissioner. These institutions are established merely as a sop to public opinion. The establishment, the banker robbers and the executive have no interest in justice for the people, only in lining their own pockets and protecting their own interests. They can lend each other £60 billion or more in secret, deceive the public interest, yet they will not overturn the gross injustice and blatant thievery that are bank charges.
The bankers and the judges molested and buggered each other at Eton and Harrow. They molested and buggered each other at Oxbridge. Now incapable, except for a little self-molestation, they are buggering us. Watch them get away with it as they duck, dive, lie, cheat and bribe their way out of trouble. It may be difficult to prove the brown envelopes changing hands but what is happening in these judges’ offshore accounts? We hold you all in the deepest contempt!
Next will come the supreme court overturning Sir Christopher Kelly’s proposal for the reform of MPs’ expenses. Coming up on the inside is the Iraq Inquiry which will almost certainly see Tony Blair off the hook for lying to Parliament and the people.
It may be difficult to contemplate revolution in the modern age but in 1789 Paris and 1917 Moscow that was their modern age. The establishment needs to understand that its conduct is unacceptable, that with the gift of the internet and communications technology, the people have far more power. You are walking a tightrope towards your own destruction.
“Dribbling Geriatrics” – Consensus Business Group & Peverel Group
This was the term used by a Mr Ian Rapley of Consensus/Peverel on BBC Breakfast this morning when being interviewed about the management of sheltered accommodation.
The man is a fool and an oaf and should be sacked immediately. I eventually managed to track down his companies. Peverel say they are “disgusted” by the way he behaved and that in fact he is not part of their company but part of their “owners”, Consensus Business Group. It, in turn, is owned by Vincent Tchenguiz, one of the richest men in the country.
I am usually complaining about people being too politically correct but this is a prime example of pompous, insensitive, ignorant and unforgiveable rudeness. There can be no excuse.
Peter Reynolds 